


The best part of me was always you

by Napping



Category: Marvel Cinematic Universe, The Avengers (Marvel Movies)
Genre: Angst, Angst with a Happy Ending, Post-Avengers: Infinity War Part 1 (Movie), dad tony
Language: English
Status: Completed
Published: 2018-08-25
Updated: 2018-08-25
Packaged: 2019-07-02 07:46:40
Rating: Not Rated
Warnings: Creator Chose Not To Use Archive Warnings
Chapters: 1
Words: 3,747
Publisher: archiveofourown.org
Story URL: https://archiveofourown.org/works/15792156
Author URL: https://archiveofourown.org/users/Napping/pseuds/Napping
Summary: Tony should be more careful what he wishes for.In his defense, though, he really didn't expect everything to go so wrong.When he wished for Peter to come back to life, he just really didn't think he'd come back cursed to be evil.Well, no challenge he wouldn't take. No thing he wouldn't do to get his kid back.





	The best part of me was always you

Tony really wished that the saying 'Be careful what you wish for' hadn’t such habit to bite him in the ass, all the damn time. He didn’t _want_ to be careful about that, he wanted to get what he wished for _without_ any problems or the fine print, that fuck him up in no time.

He just wanted to get something in peace without a fight or life / death situation.

He was ready to rant about all of this, all this shit that just comes flying right his way, all the time, and he certainly would. He might even make a power point and force some of his employees listen to him cursing _karma._

Yeah, he’ll do that. As soon as he got out of this one, because honestly, he should have been more careful what he had wished for.

Which didn’t mean he wouldn’t do it all over again, though. He’d wish for Peter to come back to life without thinking twice; he’d pay whatever price he needed to pay. Hell, he’d give his own life in the blink of an eye if it meant that Peter could live his life. So he didn’t regret anything here, he really didn’t, he still wished he had been a bit clearer.

He had fought, he had bargained, he had bleed. Tony also had the feeling he’d lost himself along the way to get Peter back and he was certain it was right when Peter had stumbled into his arms, dying.

_I don’t want to go_

I don’t want you to leave.

And it was true. Not only because Peter had helped him to finally see reason in his life again, even though he didn’t want to admit it like that. It was sad and depressing, but he was sure it was also true. 

Peter had given him so much new energy and motivation in his life, had given him something he didn’t know he was even missing till he walked into the kitchen for the first time, seeing cereal packages piled on the cabinet and a certificate for best something — or — another in 10th grade hanging on his fridge. Tony had been so proud of him when he had gotten it.

He was the first one to admit that he had semi — adopted Peter and he proudly would, too, because that kid had found his way into Tony’s day to day life and he really couldn’t think how he’d survived without him. His excited eyes and rambling questions, whenever he got into Tony’s lab. His good intentions and will for helping others.

Tony didn’t want to think about it. He had to, though, because that was his reality now. Or had been. 

But this wasn’t the reason why he was ready to throw the moon on Thanos to make Peter come back, ready to burn the galaxy down, if it meant for him to get to live his life.

Okay, it wasn’t the _full_ reason. 

It was that Peter had deserved so much better. He’d deserved to finish high school, go to college, make poor life choices. He’d deserved to grow old and have menace kids of his own. He’d deserved to live his life. He was a good kid and he only wanted to help, he didn’t deserve to die at age 15, not even having had a glimpse of his life.

Now, though, Tony wished he had been more clear about his wishes to get him back.

_I am sorry._

Not as sorry as I am.

Because he did it. _They_ did it, as a team. To turn back time and stop Thanos from snapping his fingers in the first place. And it should be good. It should all be okay, but here he was, ready to see Peter again and hug him for probably ever, telling him that this was the last time he’d come with them on missions, because Tony didn’t want to risk seeing his greatest fear come true, _again_. And then he’d listen to Peter argue, telling him that _No, Mr. Stark, look, I can protect a big neighborhood. The whole world. While being friendly._

It didn’t come to that, though. Of course it didn’t, when did it ever go as planned in his life. Of course, there’d be complications and problems and — _Hell_ , he was so ready to fight everyone, because all he wanted was to ground that kid and then watch one of those ridiculous superhero movies, that Peter loved so much. All he had asked for was to get him back.

All he got, though, was standing in front of a Tv at the Avengers Headquarters, seeing Spiderman walking around, being called _A Major Threat_. 

”This is not him,” Tony began then, looking over at Steve, who stood on his right side. ”It can’t be.”

Steve shot him a gaze back, but Tony was already focused on the Tv again, trying to make himself believe what he had just told the team.

They didn’t seem convinced.

He wasn’t either.

”Tony,” Rhodey said carefully, stepping closer, not that Tony would actively realize that right now. He didn’t say anything further, it was still a bit soothing.

Tony felt as if his world just jump out from the axis it spun around.

”We have to handle the problem, if it’s him or not.” Steve looked around, getting nods from Natasha, Bucky and Sam.

Rhodey looked at Tony, who just kept starring at the display, trying to make sense of it.

”He is dangerous,” Steve argued further, keeping his eyes on Tony, who stubbornly looked forward. He didn’t even know what kind of challenge he tried to win here, but it felt too much like one to give in. ”Why does his suit even have an instant kill mode?” 

Tony spun around, leveling Steve’s gaze. ”Because _everything_ is dangerous. Do you know how many bad people are out there? He needed a back up plan, in case things escalate.”

”Like they do now?” Steve turned to face him from the front, Tony stepped closer. He would not give Steve the satisfaction to see him back down.

Tony flexed his hand, trying to ignore the ghosting feeling of Peter falling apart in them. ”This is not who he is, this is not _him_ , not willingly. He deserves to be saved!”

”People are in danger.” Tony wished he could punch this righteous expression right off Steve’s face. He didn’t. He stepped the last bit closer. though.

”Uh, tension.” He heard Sam whisper in Bucky’s direction who just shook his head with a tiny grin.

Tony ignored them both, just starred at Steve. 

”Then we’ll save all of them. Peter included. That’s why we’ve got this damn team, isn’t it?”

Steve looked right back into his eyes, not blinking once. ”Tony, we eliminate danger. We have to treat him like any other villain, too. And sometimes it just doesn’t end with taking them alive. I am not saying that it’s the only possible outcome, but it is a possibility and you have to accept that.”

”Treat him like a villain?” Tony asked, clenching his eyes together and breathing heavily. ”He is just _a kid_.”

”He is threatening to kill people!”

”Not willingly!”

Steve’s expression changed, looking as if he felt true empathy all of the sudden. As if he understood what Tony meant, but still had to look at the big picture and didn’t like what it showed.

”I know and that’s why we have to capture him. I am really not saying that we should kill him on sight, I am just trying to prepare you for what could happen.”

”If you think I’d hesitate to do anything to stop any of you from hurting him, you’re mistaken,” Tony hissed back, raising one eyebrow in challenge, hoping Steve would take it and lose. ”What if it was Barnes _again_ , huh?”

It was a low blow and they both knew it. Didn’t make it less true, though.

Tony saw Bucky looking down to his feet at this remark. Steve turned his head to look at his best friend too, answering nothing.

”Because I remember really vividly that you’d go above and beyond, behind the government and your friends’ backs to make sure he was alive and healthy,” Tony continued, trying to make Steve understand how much this meant to him. How much _Peter_ meant to him.

He was ready to protect Peter with all he had. If somebody had to die for him to be safe, Tony would make sure it’d be him.

Steve looked back to him, stepping out of Tony’s personal space, nodding with a determined expression. 

”What’s the plan?”

 

Admittedly, he only had about 37% of a plan and the other 63% could mean certain death, but it really was solid plan. He called it 'As long as my kid lives, I don’t care what happens.'

Because Peter didn’t deserve this. Tony knew a lot of things and one even more than the others: Peter was a good kid. He wasn’t bad or evil and nobody should see him this way. He knew, that Peter would rather die than hurt anyone. 

”Why didn’t you just stay at home, kid?” Tony whispered brokenly to himself while putting his suit on, ignoring that Peter would have disintegrated anyway.

Tony didn’t know whether he should like it better that Peter had at least died in his arms and not all alone and scared at home.

The selfish part of him didn’t know if that was completely true because every time he closed his eyes, he could feel it happen all over again. He heard Peter asking what was happening, begging Tony to do something, to save him, but all Tony could do was stand there and watch as Peter fell to pieces and he didn’t know if he could ever recover from that.

He didn’t know if he could ever shake the feeling that there was something left of Peter on his hands. 

Tony took a deep breath and closed his helmet. Time to make things right.

What he should have thought about, but really haven’t, was that seeing Peter like this hurt more than the moon Thanos had thrown on him. It hurt as if he saw him dying all over again. Because there he was, no doubt himself in his suit, looking so little.

Yeah, why had he even built in the instant kill mode.

All he ever wanted was to keep him safe, he hadn’t thought about this outcome.

He flew out of the HQ, looking over his shoulder to see the Avengers Quinjet leave right behind him, hoping against hope that he’d arrive with so much time to spare, that he could save Peter before they arrived, too.

”Iron Man, do you cope?” Captain’s voice filtered through the intercoms. For a second Tony thought about just not answering, but then decided against it. Better cooperate and then have a favor to ask for later.

”Yes, I am in front of you.”

”Do not interfere till we’re there with you.”

Tony nearly laughed as answer, but then decided to just shake his head.

Well, so much to cooperate.

”Try to stop me, I dare you,” Tony shot back and then told FRIDAY to turn his music back on, to tune Steve and the rest out.

 

Arriving at scene didn’t take half as long as he thought it would and that should be a good thing, but the second he laid eyes on Peter’s ripped uniform, eyes black with a little red pupil, his hands raised in the general direction of a building, the two next to it already looking damaged and smoking; well in that second Tony really wished it had taken him longer.

So that he could’ve tried to somehow find a way to deal with it.

Emotionally, that was. 

He landed a few yards from Peter, raising his hands as peace offering, not to fire his repulsers.

”I am not going to fight you, Peter,” he shouted as he walked closer, trying to deescalate the situation.

Using his words, like Bruce had told him to. It turned out, though, that this advice had been garbage.

Tony could just barely jump out of the way of the laser beam that came his way from the suit’s eyes. 

He opened his mouth to tell Peter to stop, to remember who he was, who _Tony_ was, but before he could get the words out, Natasha landed next to him. Holding her guns out. 

Tony jumped between the both of them, turning his back to Peter, which admittedly wasn’t the smartest thing to do, but hell, if it meant he got Peter out of here without a bullet in his head, then okay.

”Get one step closer to him and I will blast your damn head right off your shoulders, fair warning,” he yelled at her, not taking his eyes off of her. She cocked her gun and then raised her hands, though, as to tell him that she would not interfere if not needed.

He wanted to sigh in relieve, but then he saw Falcon land behind Natasha, and then Cap next to him, shield raised and ready to throw.

Sam had raised his arms, ready to shoot and all Tony could do was to step back, closer to Peter. His breath came out in a short, hollow pace, feeling panic rise within him.

He couldn’t lose Peter too. Not again. Not even _once_ to even begin with.

Once was more than he could handle in a lifetime, thank you very much.

”Stop, stop it. Damnit _listen to me._ He is just a kid, please, he is just a damn kid,” he all but begged, his voice sounding desperate, lacking of his usual sharp edge and sarcasm. They all looked ready to fight Peter, to hurt him, to treat him like their usual villain, where it didn’t matter if he ended up dead or alive. Tony shuttered at the thought, hanging his head a bit. ”Please, stop it.”

They did.

Peter didn’t.

The next laser beam only got stopped by Cap’s shield, when he jumped in front of Natasha. Who opened fire to Peter’s legs to slow him down. Tony immediate jumped between them again, stopping the bullets with his armor. 

”Stop it! Stop it, _stop it_! He is 15 years old, stop this,” he yelled out, walking backwards closer to Peter, keeping the rest of the team in his view.

”Tony, don’t get too close, he could kill you,” Steve warned, his voice sharp and calculated, eyebrows raised. 

”Yes,” Tony answered slowly and kept walking. ”Good information, I really didn’t know that those lasers could kill me, it’s not as if I built them or anything.”

Steve rolled his eyes at him. ”God, Tony. Is this really the time for sarcasm?”

”If it distracts you from killing a _fifteen year old_ , then yes.”

”Nobody wants to kill him here, Tony,” Steve said, stepping after Tony, but stopping when he raised his repulsers, just _begging_ Steve to give him a reason.

”But nobody would hesitate to do so, either.”

”You think I’d let anyone kill a kid?” Steve asked, his shield firm in his hands.

”I’ve seen you do about anything to protect your loved ones, so —”

”I wouldn’t. I don’t want to hurt this boy, he seems to mean a lot to you, but we need to capture him and bring him in. Look around, he’s dangerous. So don’t get too close.” Steve’s voice was leveled and flat, as if he was trying to talk to Tony on some special frequency, that would calm him down.

It didn’t.

Tony had his goal in front of his eyes and he wouldn’t hesitate to do anything till he’d accomplished it.

"This kid is my responsibility and I will take care of it, but if you think I’d kill him rather than dying myself, you’re mistaken.”

He turned around after staring at Steve as a clear warning. He closed his eyes when he shot his iron chains around Peter’s legs, hoping they wouldn’t hurt him, only held him in place and let the lasers malfunction for a bit, causing his mask to open.

”Peter, hey, Peter, guess who?” He said quietly, stepping up to him. He was shaking, but his face was pulled into an angry frown as he struggled against the hold.

”Tony, don’t step too close. He could kill you!” Steve shouted somewhere behind him. Tony didn’t have the time to turn around and ask him, where he had gotten the expression that Tony wasn’t willing to pay that price.

”Look, kid, I am 48 now. I am the obvious choice of going crazy and then die, you’re stealing my show.” Tony walked closer till he was right in front of him, not even flinching when Peter tried to hit him.

Tony lost all his humor from a second to the next. There was no time for one liners and attempts to hide how badly that all hit him. It was in vain anyway.

He had become very good at hiding how he truly felt. The best, maybe.

But this was Peter and he looked so angry, but scared and _hell_ , he was so grounded, but first he needed to come back.

He had to.

That was the only thing in Tony’s mind, when he opened his amour and stepped out of it, not even thinking that this could be dangerous. It was Peter.

”Look, Kid, it’s me,” he said carefully. Holding his hands in front of himself to show Peter that he had nothing to fear. ”See?” He pointed to one red scar on his right forearm. ”Remember how I got it, because your thought you had to experiment with explosives?”

Tony looked into Peter’s eyes, trying to see if something changed. His pupils were still dilated and his unhappy frown was right in place.

”You felt so bad about it, you didn’t dare to laugh at the face I had made for two weeks.” Tony smiled softly at the memory, before getting back to serious.

”I know you’re in there. I know it’s not you who does all that, but I know you’re still there. And I’ll save you, okay? I’ll get you out and if I have to burn the sky to ash for it.”

Tony rubbed over his eyes, this moment felt way too final for his liking. It felt like a promise, but also a goodbye.

A goodbye that he didn’t want. That he couldn’t let happen. The last thing Peter ever said to him was 'I am sorry' as if he had anything to apologize for. As if he was anything but the best thing that had ever happened to Tony.

”You know, kid, my Dad sucked. He was never home and when he was, I was already boarded off to school. He never listened to me, or was there for me and I thought, well, fuck, better never get children, 'cause all I know about them is how to screw them up.”

Tony chuckled in a sad manner. Yeah, he had promised himself that he wouldn’t ever do that to a kid. Well, somebody obviously had other plans. He’d never had guessed that going to Queens to search for a kid from a YouTube video would lead him to enjoy living his life again, but here he was.

”You little menace sneaked your way in my life anyway,” his voice sounded thick and hollow, but still so full with emotion that he couldn’t help but wonder if it was just every feeling he’d ever suppressed, coming back to him. He allowed himself to feel it. He didn’t try to keep the tears out of his eyes, not this time. Peter deserved him to try everything, no matter how vulnerable he felt.

”And I have to say, Peter, it was the best thing that has ever happened to me. _You_ were the best thing. You just entered my life and gave it back to me. Making me realize that there was so much to live for, making me want to fight, making me want to try to get as old as possible.”

Tony swallowed hard and turned his head away from Peter, not able to look at him anymore. Feeling like it all was just too much. 

”I know, I’m not always the most emotionally open person and it is really hard for me to express my feelings, but Peter,” he interrupted himself and looked back up at Peter, through blurred eyes.

Peter had stopped to struggle and just looked at him, confused. ”You are like the son I never wanted but really needed. Or more like, the son I always wanted but didn’t know I did — what I am trying to say is, you are a great kid and I look at you and all I can think is, that you could very well be my own kid, 'cause it feels like it. And I promise you, you menace, I’ll do everything I can and everything I _can’t,_ to get you back and if it ribs me in half.”

He ruffled through Peters hair, closing his eyes, nodding to himself. It had been hard for him to say all that, but it had been a long time coming. Peter had to know, even if he maybe couldn’t hear him right now. 

”Mr. Stark?” Peter’s voice was hoarse and heavy. It was the most beautiful sound Tony had ever heard. ”Tony?”

Tony looked up as struck by lightning, blinking at Peter, while relieve settled so heavily in his chest that he thought he had to sit down or he’d pass out.

”Peter!” He exclaimed, before pulling him to his chest, not caring that his cloths got full with ash and dirt. ”You are so grounded, you can’t even believe it you—”

”I feel like you’re my dad, too,” Peter interrupted him, grabbing Tony’s shirt and hold onto it tightly. ”You the closest I’ve ever come to having father since uncle Ben died.”

Tony pressed his eyes close and laid his head on Peters, feeling his soft hair on his cheek. ”You’re my whole world, Peter. I’m sorry I couldn’t keep you safe from Thanos.”

”I feel pretty safe right now,” Peter answered and struggled with the chains around his legs.

”I came to save you as fast as I could.”

”I know you did. You always do.”

**Author's Note:**

> It's just a short thing I wrote few months ago when my sister made me watch GoT with her. (I have never seen anything of it and now two episodes of like season 5, I am one confused bitch)  
> Any mistakes have to be excused, I was too busy counting how many tits were in a shot to actually pay close attention to what I wrote. (I am totally kidding. Totally.) 
> 
> Anyhow! I hope you liked it!! I always love to see comments and kudos.
> 
> I actually am writing a longer Post Infinity War Fic, which will be more accurate about the plot and be about how Steve and Tony save the world, so stay tuned! 
> 
> I Hope you have a great day; all the love!  
> \- Nick.


End file.
